W.A.R. on TV

"A major music-oriented television channel has pitched an idea for a reality series to Axl Rose, according to sources close to the project. The show, which would appear on a cable channel that asked not to be identified, would follow the troubled rocker as his continues his decade-long effort to release the Guns N' Roses project "Chinese Democracy."

[...] The new (still untitled) reality show would follow Rose and his band as they prepare for release of the album. It would include behind-the-scenes rehearsal and studio footage, as well as interviews with a number of the participants. 'There is a lot of footage to choose from,' said a network source. 'Some of it is incredibly personal and revealing about Axl's life.'

According to the network source, the deal for the show is 'close, but not signed.' Part of the holdup seems to be the timing, as the particpants want to integrate the show into a timeline with the leadup to the album's release, along with the announcment of a limited number of concert dates." (All Your TV, 04/08/08)

Del James was quick to jump on the matter, delivering an unsurprising response.

"Despite rumors floating around the Internet, Guns N' Roses will not be appearing on any reality TV program to promote their forthcoming album, Chinese Democracy, or for any other reason." (Del James, GunsNRoses.com, 04/14/08)

The network might've just as well consulted the unofficial GNR spokesperson.

"I would bet my life you won’t be seeing the Axl Rose reality TV show. [...] We were gallivanting across Europe [in 2006]. We are sitting [at a restaurant] and I go, 'Dude, I just shot this reality show for VH1 and they paid me this amount of money, man. [...] They’d pay you like a million bucks for 10 days of some shit.'

He’s looking at me with this look on his face and he's all quiet and he goes, 'Sebastian, you don’t understand. [...] I will pay VH1 $2 million to leave me the fuck alone!'" (Baz, Rolling Stone, 06/23/08)

The Mad Doctor

Back in January 2001, the shows were opened with an animated short film, in which Axl enjoyed a Diet Coke. Seven years later, he was about to trade off.

"Tired of a world in which Americans idolize wannabe singers and musicals about high schoolers pass as rock ’n roll music, Dr Pepper is encouraging (ok, begging) Axl Rose to finally release his 17-year-in-the-making belabored masterpiece, Chinese Democracy, in 2008. In an unprecedented show of solidarity with Axl, everyone in America, except estranged GNR guitarists Slash and Buckethead, will receive a free can of Dr Pepper if the album ships some time — anytime! — in 2008." (Dr. Pepper, press release, 03/26/08)

"We are surprised and very happy to have the support of Dr Pepper with our album "Chinese Democracy," as for us, this came totally out of the blue. If there is any involvement with this promotion by our record company or others, we are unaware of such at this time. And as some of Buckethead's performances are on our album, I'll share my Dr Pepper with him." (Axl, GunsNRoses.com, 03/26/08)

In his response, Axl made a few promises in a typically vague fashion:

* Buckethead would be featured on the album
* The album would be released in 2008, as Axl'd share his release-day soda with Bucket

The Fortus comment was a direct reaction to Rolling Stone picking up on the story and blowing it up into a singular news story:

Guns n’ Roses Guitarist: “Chinese Democracy” Tour To Start In March, Last “At Least Two Years”

12/29/08, 8:55 am EST

Buried deep in an article about Guns n’ Roses guitarist Richard Fortus and his one-night reunion with Pale Divine is this bit of potentially huge news: A Gn’R tour should start in late March and is expected to last “at least two years,” according to Fortus. The band had hinted at a possible tour on their official Website in April, saying the fifth Chinese Democracy tour since 2001 was in negotiations — “When we begin to put tour plans together, we’ll see where things are,” the band said at the time — and a source close to the band told Rolling Stone an ‘09 tour was in the works. With album sales slumping and Axl Rose still reluctant to conduct any interview outside of message board forums, a tour is just what the album needs for a promotional boost. If the March start date is correct, it puts Guns in a position to headline several huge festivals in 2009 on both sides of the Atlantic.

Fortus has played guitar in some capacity for Gn’R since 2002, when Axl Rose’s friend Paul Tobias left the group’s revolving-door guitarist job. Currently, Fortus is the lead guitarist on Rihanna’s Good Girl Gone Bad tour. A St. Louis native, Fortus says he and Axl joked about returning to the city where, in 1991, Rose caused a riot after he stormed offstage because a photographer in the crowd ticked him off. “There has been talk of us doing a Love tour, a tour of all the cities where there have been riots, and doing free shows,” Fortus said.

We’ll remain optimistic about a Guns tour but again, this is the gloriously unpredictable Axl Rose we’re dealing with.

For the record, all things Fortus has said about touring as of late:

"The next tour will be... I don’t know if I should talk about it. I don’t think we’re going to be doing dates this year, either. I think we’re supposed to be starting back up in January." (Richard Fortus, Ultimate Guitar, 11/26/08)

"I get home on the 20th of December, and then get the family and go to St. Louis [for a Pale Divine show]. And then the day after we play, I'm flying to Dubai for New Year's; they're still trying to figure out where the [Rihanna] New Year's show is going to be. GNR's not doing anything until next year, in January." (Richard Fortus, The Pageant, 12/09/08)

"'There has been talk of [GNR] doing a Love tour, a tour of all the cities where there have been riots, and doing free shows,' Fortus said in a recent telephone interview. [...] Regardless, he said, late March should bring the GN'R tour, which likely will last at least two years." (Richard Fortus, The Telegraph, 12/26/08)

"OK, it seems that I am being misquoted once again. I never said that Gn'R would be playing St. Louis, nor did I say that we will be doing free shows or that we are starting a 2 year tour in March! Selective hearing. Never said it." (Richard Fortus, HTGTH, 12/30/08)

January was canceled.

Now March is in doubt. What fun.

Viral marketing.

The promotion is in big trouble, and GNR now attempts to create some petty controversy over their new video. People still remember Montreal '92, so it's not a stretch to imagine Axl getting into a feud with Hetfield / Ulrich. In reality, Axl's getting into some imaginary trouble for the entertainment value, as well as capitalizing on the fact that Ulrich got caught on tape two years back.

This whole thing stinks up to high heaven. Ulrich's completely unnecessary when considering the video and his inclusion and the 'problems' caused by it are nothing but a publicity stunt. It's like Wrestlemania, really. I only wonder whether Axl's people told Lars in advance about the fact that Fernando would 'leak' this little bit out (notice how quick Blabbermouth got a hold of it), or will he be caught up cold the next time he checks the Metallica board?

Takes about a week for the official website to say anything, I'd wager. GNR sinks to a new low in their desperate attempts to market the album with no real promotional budget - or a clue.